Is my fiancee trying to find someone to cheat with?
February 13th, 2010
Recently just after Christmas I was trying to get into my fiancees myspace to change his layout style, because he doesn’t have a clue how to work it so i’ve done it for him. I forgot the new password that he got because it was hacked, so i sent the password to his email knowing what the password to that was. When i got into his email i found many emails from a site called "Adultfriend Finder", which is a Sex and Swinger website. At first i thought it must be spam, until the first one said his profile has been accepted. That, more than anything, was a red light. So, knowing a thing or two about computers, i searched the email and it provided when the profile was submitted and with what IP address. Not only was it submitted on our day off (we work third shift) at 6:30 in the morning, when i was asleep, but from OUR computers IP address. To further it, in the email it gave this:
Location: Akron, Ohio, 44305
Intro: artist looking for canvass//
Which is where we live and he is both a tattoo artist and a musician. And those words also made me think, the way we met was he got a job where i worked, but he told me originally he was going to say to me "I’m an artist looking for a canvas, will you be it?"
Thirdly, I used the password provided in the email and checked out this profile. That was the biggest and hardest blow. The username was Tesai3, his email, and everything else has Tesai in it, and in the profile he said:
24 year old Man in Akron, Ohio
Looking For: Women for Discreet Relationship
Profile for Tesai3: Im a long time musician and a tattoo artist in search of a young beautiful white or oriental girl thats single loves all kinds of music and is VERY WELL KEPT. Such as cleanliness and not being a completely numb, psycologically and emotionaly wrecked nusance. And also must keep a distance from my work and play unless you are joining in to be played with or worked on.
(He never uses the ‘ between his I and Ms whenever i’ve seen him typing. He loves japan and especially oriental girls. He is a tattoo artist and a musician for the past 10 to 12 years, he is a clean freak and bossy about what is to be done and what isn’t.)
Not only that it went on to name his correct age, birthday, physical attributes, and other such things.
I confronted him, but he denies it, over and over, and even has tried to be extra nice. The problem is our entire relationship he always out and about because he does so much work with tattoos, construction, and music, i can’t pin him going to see other girls. What i can pin on him is that he made a profile trying to find a girl for a discreet relationship but he says he doesn’t know what it is, but won’t give me any other straight answers and has completely pretended it never happened. The problem is, he lies, a lot, to other people about much smaller much more trivial things. I’m not sure what to believe.
Help!?
Sweet heart the answers you need are already there. He is looking and has probably already found someone. I don’t know how much more confirmation you need, but the facts are already in your face. Do yourself and move on now, instead of sticking around and getting more hurt in the end. GOod luck to you
February 13th, 2010 at 4:23 pm
Kira said:
Call it quits and get outta there! He is obviously looking for something else no matter how much he denies it.
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February 13th, 2010 at 4:52 pm
Diamond said:
What do you need, a brick upside your head?
Leave him.
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February 13th, 2010 at 5:08 pm
caswimmer96 said:
He is so cheating on you DUMP HIM!! or you’ll be very miserable with him
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February 13th, 2010 at 5:40 pm
romababe2001 said:
He’s lying..and you know it in your heart..so there is only one thing left to do….you know what to do! Get ‘er done!
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February 13th, 2010 at 5:51 pm
morbidlybeautiful said:
okay so what do you need help with … you flat out busted him looking for another chick to have a "Discreet Relatiobship" with. Dump him and move on, he apparently already has.
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February 13th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
Princess Kitty said:
r u that blind?? u read it urself… leave him if u dont he is just going to dump u or cheat on u
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February 13th, 2010 at 6:44 pm
yaddajean said:
Sweet heart the answers you need are already there. He is looking and has probably already found someone. I don’t know how much more confirmation you need, but the facts are already in your face. Do yourself and move on now, instead of sticking around and getting more hurt in the end. GOod luck to you
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February 13th, 2010 at 6:56 pm
queensgirl1975 said:
Well sweetie, sorry to say, but you have provided enough detailed information and proof that he was looking to mess around behind your back, probably already has as and I would bet money on it, and/or eventually replace you. Either way, it’s disgusting, hurtful and painful to deal with. Your answer is in front of you. Don’t make excuses for him. You have proof. Visual, written proof, which is more than alot of women get for this type of situation. Do what is best for yourself, put yourself first and always go with your gut feeling/instinct. Trust it. Good luck to you.
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February 13th, 2010 at 7:34 pm
Kitten Hood said:
Consider yourself very very fortunate that you found all this out now. Do not believe what he says. Believe his actions. He posted a profile, hoping to find someone other than you. You could have been exposed to many diseases if you haven’t already. He is a liar. You know that and we know that. You must break things off and print out his profile so you can always remind yourself that he does indeed lie.
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February 13th, 2010 at 8:24 pm
♥ Rick Savage ♥ said:
that sounds pretty bad, i think he is…actually if all thats true im positive he is. but you can believe what you wat
hope everything works out
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February 13th, 2010 at 8:42 pm
Elizabeth said:
You already know your answer. The profile came from your computer, and you know it’s him described. That would be enough evidence for me.
He wants a discreet relationship - he was planning on keeping it a secret from you all along. Do you think he’s going to admit to it NOW?
Be thankful you found out now, and not after you got yourself legally entangled with this lowlife.
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February 13th, 2010 at 9:05 pm
Lucy said:
DUMP HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!
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February 13th, 2010 at 9:39 pm
Jessie said:
Seeing that you caught him red handed you need to confront him on his actions.
To me there is no question on what you should do. Leave him, and if you are leaving him ask him to be completely honest with you.
I would not give him a second chance in heck.
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February 13th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
rev.wendy said:
My ex-husband got caught through Adultfriendfinder. Looking for a discre…….you know the rest. I found an email he got on that sight and recognized the picture. It was all downhill from there. We are now in the middle of a not-to-friendly divorce. My advice is run. Good luck, girlfriend.
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February 13th, 2010 at 10:39 pm
buttercup said:
if i was u i would log into his username and id and pretend to be him and find out what is going on .there seems to be a lot ofsuspicious things ging on and this is the only way to truly know.make up your own name and password in the same site as him and pretend to be somone that is interested in him and see how far he really would take things.the you will know for sure.
good luck
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February 13th, 2010 at 11:13 pm
A True Christian said:
Dump his behind now. Why on earth would you even date a man who lies to people, let alone live with him like this? Girl, you’ve made a mistake with this jerk, but it isn’t too late. Move out tomorrow morning. Move in with a girlfriend or your parents for a few days until you can find your own place. Find yourself a real man, preferably one who is honest. That was your first mistake right there. If someone will lie to everyone else, you can bet he will lie to you too. Why would you trust him?? Yikes! Dump him before he gives you an STD that he picks up from his indiscretions. (and I know it’s unchristian of me, but I wish him a whopping case of herpes to keep him warm at night!!)
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February 13th, 2010 at 11:52 pm
Megan said:
i know this might be hard for you since youve gotten so far into this relationship. You should tell him exactly how you feel and what you think because if you dont get all your thoughts out there nothing will improve. If it doesnt improve dont just let it slide because it will lead into nasty marrige, leave him like a sack of potatos.
Good luck
Megan<3
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February 14th, 2010 at 12:25 am
Tian said:
wow i cant believe you even bothered to confront him with all of that! I would have just left asap. now you probably wont be able to catch him doing anything like this again! babe you have all the answers you need. he was trying to cheat on you. and he will, but he will mak sure to not get caught, then you will be stuck in a realtionship thats not true. get out while you can.
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February 14th, 2010 at 12:45 am
EmptyStomach said:
You already know the answer.
You just don’t want to believe it.
You’re just having us nail the coffin shut for you.
You actually don’t need us. You already know what you need to do, you’re just scared of believing it, and scared of doing what you need to do.
If you bottle this up and forget about it, you will regret it in the future when you look back and wonder why you wasted so much time. If you get to that point, I like the brick upside the head idea…
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February 14th, 2010 at 1:17 am
Master Chef T. said:
he is cheating no doubt you need to go to a website called cheaters.com or something it is a tv show and have them work with you they will follow him around and if he is messing around they will tell you and you will get to go see him while he is with the other women its a great idea you should check it out!
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i’ve had my shares of cheaters
February 14th, 2010 at 1:53 am
DragonflyGirl said:
There has never been a case more obvious to me than this one. HE IS TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE TO CHEAT ON YOU WITH, if he hasn’t already. There is no doubt about this one. I am so sorry to say this, I know how it hurts, but you NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS!!!! So much better that you find out now than after marriage, no?
Good luck, and sorry….
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February 14th, 2010 at 2:24 am
mylyttlemariposa said:
Call it quits girl!!! you deserve better!!
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